Rebellion, Redemption, True Love.

There are times in your life when you look back and think… "Well, that was dumb." The last 4 days have been one such occasion for me.

5 days ago I was so hungry. I was tired, I was sick, I wasn’t getting enough nutrition, I was worn out and defeated. It seems as if the moment I uploaded my last blog, I completely forgot what I wrote, what God said and what I had resolved to do. But that’s a COMPLETLEY different story.

I am weak. I am human and I rebelled. I decided out of my own flesh to make a change to my fast. I decided that I needed to eat one meal in the afternoon. One uber-healthy, still very restrictive meal with a salad, beans, nuts and a veggie to round it out. I decided. Because I wouldn’t do it, I decided that it was okay with God and I gave myself an inch – just to survive.

I took a mile.

That one decision (no matter how sensible it seemed) was all it took to start me off on a 4 day rebellion.

I ate chicken, I ate potatoes, I ate bread, and I had a burrito, and rounded it all out with mac & cheese. There. I wasn’t gonna tell you but there’s no sense in being a cheater & a liar. ;) Believe me, I've paid dearly for this rebellion physically - but the spiritual repercussions have been the worst.

What the what?!

Yes, it was an emotional weekend, yes I was physically exhausted and getting ill, yes I was trying to be strong and yes I still have yet to learn how to let God be my strength.

Sigh.

God’s grace is new every morning. I am clinging to this truth so tightly this morning. I am back on the juice & juice alone. It’s is the beginning of a new month, I still have 40 days left to show God how serious I am.

What made me turn back around and step away from the cliff I was on the edge of?  Take good counsel and accept correction – that’s the way to live wisely and well.” – Proverbs 19:20 (MSG) The wise counsel of those people He has placed in my life to help me through this is the only reason I’ve come back.

I cannot express the depths of my gratitude for Mrs. Bear, Coach, Firestarter, and my dear sweet mother, among others.
Correction is not easy to hear. Rebellion is easy to justify to yourself, but explaining it to someone else in a way that makes it sound reasonable is an art form. I just so happen to think I am such an artist.

Wrong.

I love that there are people in my life who will tell me I have to make a choice. Either suck it up or change it but whatever that choice is I need to make it and stick to it. (mother)

I love that there are people who will offer up their precious evening hours with their husband to come over and help me prep my veggies – just so I can be set up for success. (Mrs. Bear)

I love that there are people in my life who will make sure I know they’re going to Costco so I can bulk buy my veggies to keep me stocked & make me use more. (Firestarter)

I love that I have a pastor who I can text and say I missed the prophetic word he gave on Sunday and he will type it up and email it to me so I don’t miss out on a promise from God. (PBob)

And I love that there are people in my life who will not stop bothering me, when I am obviously ignoring them completely because I don’t want to lie to them but I don’t want to tell them I haven’t juiced in 3 days and, NO I don’t want to talk about it and NO I don’t want to hear what they have to say but they don’t care & will use another type of social media to reach me until I respond because I refuse to text them back. (Coach)

So I come to you convicted, corrected, and humbled and say I am giving up. I am giving up control of this. I am done trying in my own strength to make it through this fast. Because when I try, I fail.

I leave you with this word my pastor gave on Sunday. Coach made me drag myself out of bed on Sunday and come to church. I missed worship & this word but arrived exactly in time for prayer. She told me I needed to hear this word and she was right.

Have faith friendlies. Abide in Him and you will be successful, because God doesn’t fail.

Prophetic Word
Pastor Bob Oliver
July 29, 2012 John 15

Abide my children in my love.  You abide in my love, as you abide – live – in me.  As you abide, you come to know my heart.  As you abide, you come to know my word, for you cannot abide in My Love and ignore My Word.  Have I not said “If you abide in Me and My Word abides in you – ASK whatever you wish, and it will be done?”  As you abide in me, your asking is in response to the moving of My Spirit.  At times the moving of My Spirit will be inconvenient to your flesh and at other times diametrically opposed to reason, but obey the promptings of My Spirit regardless of the cost.  The more difficult the assignment, the richer the reward.  I am giving you opportunities to prove your love for me.  Be sensitive to My Spirit.  Be listening for my Voice.  I will guide you with my hand upon your shoulder.  I intend to lead you into an increasingly abundant life by liberating your spirit to freely be at the disposal of and direction of My Spirit.  By this you will bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples!

love. love. love.